Sex Talk with your Gal Pals ~ Are You Having it?

Editorial: Sandy O'Shea
Image Source: Pixabay

Sponsored by: Resilientista Private Women's Club
​( a closed FB group)

​No … I’m not talking about sexting your girlfriends ;) I’m talking about opening up and being vulnerable with your girls … and in the process finding out that you’re not alone, that you’re not strange or weird or unusual.  You’ll likely find out that you are like a LOT of women … women who are afraid to admit that they have questions or fears or insecurities, when it comes to talking about SEX!

​For those of us over the age of 50 or even 40+, were probably raised to think of sex as more of an obligation, something to keep our men happy, or as a means to procreate. Talking about sex was taboo and something you just don’t do. Well guess what???  That’s total bullshit!!  Women have JUST as much right as men to do, to fully enjoy a fabulous sex life!!  And talking about sex is how you learn about it. It also helps you understand your lady parts and identify what is happening down there that may be a concern.
 
Some questions to get the conversation going with your gal pals:  What does a great sex life mean to you?  Have you actually given it any thought?  What do you enjoy doing?  What do you enjoy having done to you?  Do you masturbate?  Do you use vibrators or dildos or other toys?  Are you single or do you have a partner or multiple partners?  Yup, I went there.

It’s just us girls here, so let’s talk about sex baby!!

​Is sex something that you don’t give much thought to and either (a) abstain from or (b) go through the motions of doing the same old, same old?  Well, I’ve got news for ya sista, you deserve to have mind blowing, amazing, gotta change the sheets and mattress pad kind of sex on a regular basis.  Do you need a partner for that?  Not necessarily.  A lot of men don’t have a freaking clue how to make a woman orgasm like that or well for that matter.  That’s what toys are for.  But you CAN teach him.
 
Here’s the thing though … if your head isn’t in the game … chances are pretty good that no matter how good your partner is (even if he runs on a battery), your experience won’t be optimal.  Did you know that you can train yourself to have better orgasms?  Did you know that squirting (or gushing) is not common among non-porn queens?  A LOT of men don’t have the foggiest idea how to make a woman squirt.   But OMG once you start, it’s hard to stop and it’s addictive.  But if you don’t squirt, there is NOTHING wrong with you.  If you don’t orgasm, there is NOTHING wrong with you, other than perhaps the wrong partner. 
 
Does that mean you should throw away your partner?  Absolutely not.  You can teach him how to touch you.  In most cases, new sexual partners, no matter how good they might be, often need to be taught how to touch YOU.  Just like penises are different, so are vaginas.
 
Which brings me to my next subject … our vaginas and other lovely lady bits.  Vaginas are different … some are tighter … some are drier.  The G-spot (a lovely spongy spot located approximately 1 ½-2 inches from the vagina opening on the upper wall) is not in the exact same spot for every woman.  Some women are more ​sensitive than others … and THAT’S OK.  Our vaginas can smell differently … and that is NORMAL.  Food can affect our smell.  The last time you showered can affect our smell.  Your activity can affect it.  The vagina is a self-cleaning oven and it does NOT require (nor should you use) douches or anything else to “clean it”.  Don’t use antibiotic creams either.  There is a very delicate bacteria balance in our vaginas.  Some discharges are perfectly normal but if you start to get a curdled or nasty smelling discharge, get to your local health store and get yourself some probiotics specifically designed for women.   

 You can even get probiotic suppositories if you have a raging yeast infection.  Just stay away from antibiotics. 

​Speaking of antibiotics … I totally acknowledge that in SOME instances they are necessary (just not for yeast infections).  In that case, be sure you take probiotics approximately 2-3 hours away from antibiotics.  If that’s not feasible, make sure you get on those probiotics as soon as you finish your medication.  Your vagina will thank you.
 
Masturbation is not just for guys.  Ladies, if you have never taken a good look at what your labia, clitoris and vaginal opening look like, grab a mirror and take a good look at it.  Get familiar with it.  Touch yourself (your clit, your lips) and stick your finger inside your vagina to experience it.  Getting in touch with the most intimate parts of you is essential for great sexual experiences. 
 
Why do you think men are so in touch with their equipment and so obsessed with it?  Because they learn at an early age to touch it, to experiment with it, to learn what makes them feel good.  YOU should be doing the same thing with your lady parts!  It’s also a great way to learn how to really orgasm if you don’t already or if your orgasms are not very fulfilling.
 
To wrap this (my favourite subject) up, you need to touch yourself, learn what you like and don’t like, communicate with your partner and RELAX!!  You are totally normal! 

And start talking with your gal pals about sex! If you are shy to talk with your friends about sex, I encourage you to check out the Resilientsita Private Women's Club - a private Facebook Group, where women gather virtually to talk about all things that affect women as they mature , from fitness, health, relationships, leisure, home and YES sex!