Dating Over 40 ~ 8 Things You need to consider before dipping your Toe into the "dating Pool"

Editorial: Michelle Peña
Feature Image: FreeStock.org

​Whether you are newly single or have been single for awhile re-entering the dating world can be a bit scary and intimidating. A lot has changed since we were dating in our 20’s particularly with online dating being the “new normal” to meet potential mates.

When I decided to start dating again, I was in my 40’s and I cringed at the thought of having to put myself out there again. I didn’t know what to expect or what I would find but I knew I had to go in with an open mind and positive attitude if I was going to have any success.

It may not have been your plan to be dating again at this time in your life, but dating is what you make it, taking the good, the bad and the ugly all in stride. So, if you’re ready to re-enter the dating world or at least dip your toes in the “single’s pool” to see what is out there, check out my 8 dating tips to help you get back into the groove.

8 Tips for Dating Over 40

1. Get clear on what you are looking for: Don’t waste your time dating to confirm what you don’t want. Go in with a clear understanding of what it is you are looking for in a partner by getting crystal clear on what you don’t want. If you are foggy on this, the results will show.
2. Don’t take it personally: Know there will be good dates and bad dates so don’t get discouraged too quickly. Hang in there. It’s a weeding out process with each bad date getting you closer to what you are looking for. Chalk it up to a learning experience, laugh it off and keep it moving. 
3. Check your expectations: Are you looking for short time fun or a long-term partner. Be honest with yourself and the people you are dating. This will impact your expectations and how you date.
4. Don’t settle: You reach a certain age and convince yourself that this is your last chance to find “the one”. This can lead you to choosing out of convenience over your “heart choice”. If there is any area in your life where you should not settle …this is it! So, stand solid in who you are and don’t compromise.
5. Playing the comparison game: We’ve all been guilty of this. Comparing someone new to a past love.  Don’t compare your date to ex’s of the past. There is a reason why there are your ex. See him for the man in front of you. Get to know him for who he is before you jump to any conclusions.

Source: FreeStock.org

    6. Be open to someone different: This is the time to explore and discover the new. We tend to stick 
        with what we are comfortable with when it comes to choosing our mates. But, be open to dating     
         someone that may not be your “typical type”. You may be surprised.
    7.  Have fun: Don’t put pressure on yourself to be perfect or to find “the one” after a few dates. When
         you look too hard you may overlook finding the right one for you. Also, keep in mind your date may
        be just as nervous as you are so just be yourself and enjoy!

And lastly, I saved the most important tip for last  
​ 
   8. Know who you are: Don’t rush into it. Make sure you are ready to date again. Whether you are feeling
       pressured by family and friends or are used to being in a relationship, take the time to heal the past.           Get to know you again before getting to know someone else.​