1) Most relationships have an expiry date, and too often we remain in a relationship hoping "the person" will change their spots, despite how many times they let us down.
2) When a relationship has come to an end no matter how long it may not have been good - you still need to take time to heal, reconnect with yourself and recharge yourself. Jumping into another relationship will only provide a band-aid solution and you may find yourself in the same predicament in the months, years to come.
3) If someone's actions threaten your well being - be it health, financial, emotional or physical well-being;while your heart may want to give them an opportunity to make things better, it's also important to set a time limit for things to be rectified. Let the person know ... and then do not cave! Walk away. If you let them know how something is making you feel and they don't take steps to make you feel secure - then they are being about them self only - and have no interest in comprise (or your feelings).
4) If someone is not happy with your reaction to their original action, that you brought to their attention - and goes on to further break your trust and blames you because of the reaction ! RUN!! as much as your heart may not have caught up with your head. KNOW it takes two to make things work or not - if he takes no responsibility for his part, know he has given you a gift of freedom, even if it's rocking your very essence and being to the core and it hurts like hell!
5) Each relationship teaches us something - if we take the time to reflect and identify the lessons. Knowing the lessons will better equip us to apply them in future relationships, thus breaking the cycle and not having to relearn the lesson.
,6) Forgiveness is key to moving forward. Forgive for your own well being - even if you don't tell the other person you forgive them. Try this mantra "I let go, and forgive him" - keep repeating it until it's true.
7) A man will always tell you who he really is. If he says "you are too good for him", "he is a bad boy" BELIEVE him. This was something a good friend's mother once told us - while I have never forgotten this - I may not always have put her very wise words to practice.
8) Relationships are hard work and I do believe that almost everything can be worked out. But if the person you are with has not worked out his relationship with himself - don't expect things to be smooth sailing.
9) The early days, weeks, months and even years may run smoothly, after all it's shiny new. Even if its built on the ruins of the past relationship. But in time cracks will appear. Until each person has dealt with their pain of a past relationship and has a healthy relationship with them self - they cannot truly have a healthy relationship with another.
10) Even healthy relationships can come to an end. The difference is, though some things may not have worked - RESPECT and LOVE has always been present. You both cared enough to recognize you may not work as a couple, and that's OK .... but you are able to maintain a friendship.
“The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself.” — Carrie Bradshaw
What relationship lessons have you learned?
Would love for you to add to the above in the comments.
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article originally published on the blog High Heeled Life - titled: Relationships & What I've Learned at 50